For Trevor, the one who held space for me. Infinite amount of space.
Run With me
I was blessed to know Trevor as for the past 3 years. We were intimate life companions. We laughed together, cried together danced together and experience life’s up and downs, holding hands all the while. I loved him. He was my true love.
Trevor was amazing son, a loyal brother, an encouraging friend, a talented architect, and a passionate outdoorsman. I hope to help honor and celebrate Trevor’s life today by sharing a handful of select memories of how I experienced Trevor as a love, cherishing and faithful.
When we renewed our relationship you took me to crystal cove one evening to watch the bioluminescent tide. The rolling tide in the backdrop was beautiful, but I could not take my eyes off you. A new and different man was next to me. I saw a transformation in you that suggested you connected with something greater than yourself. You beamed a quiet and deep inner peace. You were joyful. And clearly dead set on becoming a better person.
Last summer (May 15,2015) you came to watch me compete in my horse compition in del mar. In the fall we celebrated your 25th birthday together by hiking in the Hockett wilderness. We arrived at the trailhead at 9 pm, only to finish at 2 am! You jokingly encouraged me through the whole late-night 10-mile hike. I tried in vain to keep up and impress. You pushed me Trevor. You always pushed me. You supported me and encourage me in life to change as you had. To be a more competent outdoorswoman, a more disciplined student in the classroom, and a better person. Later by the campfire, you opened up to me about your childhood, and I about my life. We were vulnerable to each other, and it was beautiful to share that trust with you.
On our next adventure together, we climbed Mount Whitney. Despite being first-timers facing heavy snow fall and without proper equipment, we summited first on Sunday against all odds. That was so you. Always first, always in front, always the leader. I was terrified and actually tore my Achilles on the descent, but you kept encouraging and calming me as we labored for 25 miles. But that was just the way you were built: so intense, so full of purpose and so passionate about life.
Your next project was to teach me to ski. You had me skiing down black diamonds and the wall within 24 hours. On a ski trip in Canada, you told me you loved me for the first time. You looked at me with your beautiful blue eyes and said, “Francie I love you and I have been in love with you.” My heart melted. For you being unguarded was a big deal, yet you opened your whole heart to me. Loving you was the most exhilarating experience of my life.
Halloween 2015
"dont blow up the spot"
lets pretend
We spent countless hours’ road tripping across America in your van, fondly dubbed “Christina” she was great. I’ll never forget road tripping from Utah on my 22nd birthday. Without warming, you took an exit for a Walmart and promptly bought me a cake. Always the jokester, you got me trick candles and laughed when I struggled to blow them out! You found a dirt road off the highway, pulled over and sang me happy birthday. It was my best birthday ever. It meant the world that you truly cared and just wanted me to have the best day. I felt the same way when you surprised me in big bear a few months later.
The night before your traffic accident, you called me from the mountain to tell me you loved me and how excited you were to come watch me ride in Canada. You were also planning a dive trip with my dad and your friend dave then we were going to go watch the Olympics in Rio. So much in a year. So much since that day, on the 15th of May, 2015 when you came to Del Mar to see me jump. Then, as though it were a movie script, exactly one year later I was driving back from that very same Horse Show in Del Mar when I received a telephone call, ordinarily a routine occurrence. But this time it would change my life, [look up at audience] our lives, forever. One year from the day that you had come to watch me compete, you left this world. You left it as you lived it… in full flight. You left this world that day. But Trevor, you did not leave me. You did not leave us. Nor will you ever. You have left a piece of you behind in each of us. You have left a very special piece of yourself here with me. As you continue in your adventure, go in peace. We will treasure and protect these bits of you you left with us. For we all know that we will see you again. For me, I look forward to the day when I once again, look into your eyes and return to you this piece of yourself you left with me, and perhaps, receive from you the piece of me that you have taken with you. In that day we will talk and laugh, and knowing you, probably hike, climb, dive and ski… and I will not be a stranger in that new world, it will all be very familiar because a big part of me is there already.
Until that day, until that time, until that place…Trevor, I love you, forever…Forever, you will hold my soul. You are walking with me, holding my hand, you are my angel. You are looking down from above and protecting me, I feel you everywhere I go, I love you babe..
